Fishing Funnies

Fishing - What most of us do instead of CATCHING

Bassboat - A large hole in the water for you to pour your money into. Usually requires a new pickup to pull it.

Fisherman - A jerk at one end of a line waiting for a jerk on the other.

Clear Water - What comes out of the Ozarks bottles on a hot fishing day

Dirty Water - What you drink from the bottom of the ice chest when all the Ozarks water is gone on a hot fishing day

Point - What everyone does at the ramp when you forget to put the plug in. (sometimes "laugh" oes with point)

Point (2nd definition) - The part of a hook you can't see when it is imbedded in your finger

Stick up - What happens to you if you are alone after dark at a boat ramp

Finesse Fishing - Talking your wife into letting you go.

Flat - What you get on the way home from the lake

Cut - What you do to get the hook out of your finger

Jig - What you do when your wife finds you at the bar instead of the boat ramp.

Line - What you give your wife when you come back late from fishing.

Backlash - What you get from your wife after you give her your line.

Bed - The place you will not get to sleep if your wife doesn't believe your line.

Doghouse - Your new home if your wife doesn't believe your line.

Lure - What tackle makers use to get your money.

Tackle Shop - The place where more bass are caught and more deer killed, than any other place on earth.

Crankbait - A lure designed specifically for catching boat carpet, landing nets, and thumbs

Favorite bait - The one you caught your last fish on.

Tackle box - A contraption designed to tangle all of your lures together into one giant ball.

Sunny beach - The guy that is fishing in your spot

Bass Hole - The guy that horns in on the spot you are fishing

Reel - How big you wish your last bass was.

Confidence - What you would have if you actually caught a fish, but that you need in order to catch that dam Bass in the first place.

Milk-Run(s)- What you get when you forgot about your lactose intolerance and ate too much ice-cream.

Flip and Pitch (as in "a fit")- What your wife does when she finds out the real cost of your equipment.

Twitch twitch, pause - The end of a good whizz

Texas Rig - '65 Chevy pulling a battered 14 foot LoneStar with a 5 hp Evinrude with two adults and six kids piled in to go catfishin'.

Trolling Motor - Gift given to wife for the 10th Wedding Anniversary

BassMaster - One who has donated all his worldly possessions and money to his Master- the bass